Authentic. Real. Raw. These words are new to me. Never before have I felt more comfortable in my skin. Never before have I felt that I live my life as ME…not as who others want me to be. I’m simply McCall – quirky, energetic, passionate and full of LIFE. These feelings of authenticity did not come until I stripped down and streaked across this blog, the Facebook newsfeed and now through my community. It is so funny to me how life works out…rewind to just four years ago and you would find me working away in my corporate cubicle, mind consumed with food and body, doing the ‘I’m perfect’ tap dance I had come to master. I was ANYTHING but myself…I was trying to be the person I thought I was supposed to be. Frankly, I was just trying to stay afloat. Flash-forward to today…I ooze with authenticity and the quirkiness that can only be me. I get to wear my heart on my sleeve instead of shoving it under my shirt. It still amazes me how much more people relate, love and support you when you are truly yourself. The feedback and response I have gotten for showing my scars has been extraordinary and simply overwhelming. This newfound freedom came with a big price tag, but nonetheless the ability to play myself in the story of my life has been worth every tear and scar.
Now that my mind is no longer clouded with disordered thoughts, I get to think about my life beyond the confines of my disorder. I get to reflect on how I want to leave my mark on this world. Today, I live life with a few simple guidelines:
Be me (always).
Lead by example.
Pay it forward.
Recently, I shared my story of struggle and triumph with the incredible women of SoleSisters of LSU. The sorority chapter room was filled with young women who came to hear my story. To be honest part of me could not understand why they would take the time to come for me. But as I began to speak, I felt so at home. Nothing has ever felt so natural to me. My story was meant to be shared…and I was born to tell it. Never in a million years did I imagine myself admitting to an eating disorder, much less sharing such a personal struggle for all to hear and see. It is hugely ironic how life works out. In the past, I spent all of my energy hiding my disorder and now I am spending my energy sharing my story. I feel like I am finally doing what God put me on this earth to do. I don’t know why and I’m not going to waste time trying to figure out the ‘Why’…I’m just going to go with it.
My wheels have been doing some serious turning. I have some big ideas and lofty plans to continue on my path of authenticity and paying it forward. I am on a mission and I am just getting started…so stay tuned…